


Some Things are On a Need to Know Basis, "AHEM DEREK".

by StilesIsMySpirtAnimal_48



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF Stiles, Bad Friend Lydia Martin, Bad Friend Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Bad Parent Sheriff Stilinski, But she gets her shit together, Derek has trauma that he needs to get over from Paige and Kate, M/M, Peter Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Sassy Peter Hale, Sheriff Stilinski is Not Stiles Stilinski's Parent, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski is Pushed Out of the Pack, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Stiles has abs and Tattoo's but wont take his clothes off in front of the pack, Stiles is related to the Winchesters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:26:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilesIsMySpirtAnimal_48/pseuds/StilesIsMySpirtAnimal_48
Summary: Okay so it's not like Stiles thought it was of importance. I mean with all the drama going on in Beacon Hills how could he simply just blurt out at a pack meeting "Yea you know my mother had an affair while she and the sheriff were dating and my father is John Winchester, Yeah just thought I should tell you that I'm part of the most deadly hunting family in the world." Stiles snorts yeah that would go over well with all of them. Shit the Pack was going to kill him....Nah His brothers were going to fucking slaughter him.or:Stiles withholds some truths from his family and his pack and secrets are spilled, and what is up with Stiles new look.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, eventual Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	1. School Carpool

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to totally be a crack fic but with a dash of angst so like I dont know.

> This was totally not his fault. Nope not at all. I mean Okay so it's not like Stiles thought it was of importance. I mean with all the drama going on in Beacon Hills how could he simply just blurt out at a pack meeting "Yea you know my mother had an affair while she and the sheriff were dating and my father is John Winchester, Yeah just thought I should tell you that I'm part of the most deadly hunting family in the world."
> 
> Stiles snorts yeah that would go over well with all of them. Shit the Pack was going to kill him....Nah His brothers were going to fucking slaughter him.
> 
> Now if only this Witch lady would do him a favor and let him and his pack go then stiles would be just fine. Until he was murdered by both parties. But hey that's way better than being used for this lady's fucked up virgin sacrifice like seriously he's not even an virgin the Queens at the Jungle made sure of that ages ago.
> 
> But he was never telling anyone that nope I mean so what that he had sex with a stripper for his first time we all have our issues so don't judge his. Plus he has the best role in the pack "The Pure, Innocent, White as Motherfucking Snow Weak Defenseless Human" (Did you hear the sarcasm cause there was a lot).
> 
> And he liked that role as long as you forgot that he went on monthly hunting trips to kill things with his brothers which was a whole other can of worms that we're not even going to touch for a few more chapters......."Hmmmmm the author was write this is a crack fic" Stiles shook his head "Gotta stop talking to myself." He looked up and winked at the reader on the other side of the screen.
> 
> Anyways while he's waiting for his brother's to find them he might as we explain how he got in this position. It all started on Monday...
> 
> God he hated fucking Monday's anyways Let me tell y'all about Monday.....


	2. GOD DAMNIIT MONDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His day was not good. At all. He woke up with makeup smeared to the pillow, stepped on a condom that missed the trash. Their was no hot water, and they ran out of pop tarts.
> 
> Fucking Monday's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should say that we're not going to see the brothers till like chapter six. I kinda wanna fuck wit Stiles for awhile for my own amusement so hang in there my peeps.

> > RINNNNGGGGGGGG
>> 
>> Stiles jumped up and fell out of his bed "God Damnit author seriously!?!?" he yelled at his ceiling after turning off the alarm. He stood up off the floor and looked down when he noticed the weirdest thing "No,No,No, is that makeup on my newest bedspread?" Stiles despaired there was bright pink, blue, yellow, and black mixed on his pillow. 
>> 
>> He ran in to the bathroom to see the damage on his face but then he slipped on this weird warm thing and face planted on the floor. Stiles felt like crying he'd only been awake for five minutes and shit was already going wrong. "How the fuck did I slip on a condom?" He asked the ceiling as if it would give him the answers to all of his problems.(Unfortunately for him it didn't) 
>> 
>> He stood back up again and bent down to throw it in the trash "Man I'm never having sex again." (The author scoffed as she was typing.) Stiles walked into the bathroom without having anymore problems to take a shower. He looked in the mirror and noticed that he looked like a dead person. And he would know because of how many dead people he'd already seen....Man that got depressing quickly.
>> 
>> He turned towards the shower and turned the water on "This is all I need a nice hot shower to calm me down." Stiles said to himself. He stepped into the shower and screamed jumping right back out "MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST ON THE CROSS!!!" His shower water was ice cold. At this point Stiles was ready to get back in bed and cry the day away.
>> 
>> But he couldn't because they had midterms so he showered in the cold water. By the time Stiles was finally done with his routine he threw on some jeans and a flannel. He looked at his clock and saw that it was 9:00 already. He ran down the stairs miraculously without anymore accidents and flew into the kitchen. He didn't have time for a hearty breakfast so he grabbed the box of pop tarts wondering for a second why it felt so lightweight and ran outside.
>> 
>> He climbed in the jeep and floored it down the street. Stiles stomach started growling so he reached over to the pop tart box and stuck his hand in. But all he felt was air "Nooooooooo I'm starving and I have no pop tarts." Was all he could say before the jeep started jerking to a stop and he had to pull over.
>> 
>> Stiles looked up at the roof as tears started welling up in his eyes. "This can't be happening to me I'm in my bed and still dreaming I have to be." But since he knew it wasn't a dream he got out of the jeep and popped the hood. The second he lifted it smoke came blowing up and he started coughing. Stiles walked to passengers seat and pulled out the Duck tape.
>> 
>> As he bent over to fix whatever was wrong with the jeep he heard lightening crack..... But wait there's more, it started raining. Stiles paused in disbelief as he was soaked to the bone before he wailed "FUCKING MONDAYS!!!!!!!!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooooo this chapter happened.*Takes a sip of her mocha* Anyways Stiles routine happened to my God-brother a couple days ago when he had to go to work and I couldn't stop laughing so I wrote about it. He ended up calling in sick after the rain part happened because he couldn't take the stress.😂
> 
> Yep comments,Kudos,and Suggestions make me smile so go crazy.

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp Should I continue No or Yes. Anyways spelling mistakes are all mine. I was extremely bored when I wrote this and was feeling up to some mayhem so welcome to my brain.


End file.
